By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
