dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
