Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
