i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
