just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
