you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize