: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
