Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
