so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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