Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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