My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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