Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
