I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
