Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
