New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
