Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
