how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
