the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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