I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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