You're so nebulous sometimes
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
