I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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