Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
