I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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