i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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