She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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