i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
did i walk over a car last night?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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