He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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