I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
