wat bout pragnant strippers??
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
