I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
