Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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