Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
