Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
