6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
