windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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