Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
