Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize