Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
