Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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