Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
