dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
