I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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