and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
