But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
