i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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