just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
