I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
