sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
