why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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