Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Randomize
Follow @tfln