Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
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his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
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No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".