I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
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there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
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How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.