Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate