So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up