Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

coke and sex party at dan's

(201): View more from New Jersey

im watching greys anatomy with megan...

(973): View more from New Jersey

wha-pishhh

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(973): coke and sex party at dan's (201): im watching greys anatomy with megan... (973): wha-pishhh http://tfl.nu/auvy

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.

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(405): I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/pkl3

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(973): View more from New Jersey

well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown

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(973): well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown http://tfl.nu/5h35

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good

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(978): I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good http://tfl.nu/mzsl

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(720): View more from Colorado

You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar

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(720): You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar http://tfl.nu/nzkd

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(519): View more from Ontario

my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.

(1-519): View more from Ontario

You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.

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(519): my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar. (1-519): You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make. http://tfl.nu/j6t1

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(858): View more from California

I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...

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(858): I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal... http://tfl.nu/9xti

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(253): View more from Washington

That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of

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(253): That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of http://tfl.nu/x3nm

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(704): View more from North Carolina

all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.

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(704): all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back. http://tfl.nu/s19b

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(469): View more from Texas

Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...

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(469): Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it... http://tfl.nu/spt6

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(224): View more from Illinois

you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping

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(224): you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping http://tfl.nu/igay

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?

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(405): Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night? http://tfl.nu/sl90

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(443): View more from Maryland

I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!

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(443): I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD! http://tfl.nu/k4l1

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti

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(610): We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature (610): Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti http://tfl.nu/iam9

Replies (1) Good night (976) Bad night (436)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.

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(330): Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving. http://tfl.nu/wsf8

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