If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just pee around me
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
