it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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