wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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