I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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