I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
