By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize