Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
