Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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