Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
