She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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