btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
