i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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