covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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