their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
