you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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