Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
