remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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