I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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