Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The uberlube is also flammable
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
