haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
