So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
